Scene opens to the three chopping wood. SPY and HEAVY are near each other cutting wood. MEDIC is off on his own. They are grunting and sweating and not enjoying themselves, except MEDIC who is loving it. “I feel so alive!” he says to himself.
SPY turns to HEAVY.
SPY
“Do you feel like a lumberjack yet?”
HEAVY
“My shirt hasn’t gone plaid yet so I don’t think so.”
SPY
“Yeah, me neither.”
SPY turns to MEDIC.
SPY
“Hey! How long are we going to do this?”
MEDIC
“As long as it takes to convince ourselves that we are real lumberjacks. Thats what roleplaying is all about!”
HEAVY
“I’m tired.”
MEDIC
“Don’t give up now MOP! If you stick with it, I’ve got a delicious cake all made up for you, with frosting and everything. Keep chopping!”
SPY chops a few more times then pauses.
SPY
“This is ridiculous. I’m done.”
MEDIC turns around.
MEDIC
“Cut that wood!”
SPY
“No.”
HEAVY
“Guys, don’t yell.”
MEDIC
“Cut that woood!”
SPY
“No!”
MOP
“Oh dear.”
MEDIC
“Fine! Well I guess roleplaying a lumberjack isn’t good enough for you, eh?
MOP
“He’s not saying that!”
MEDIC
“I guess you need something more exciting, more ‘hip’–”
MOP
“Calm down.”
MEDIC
“–with more references to popular culture and more funny, quick images!”
SPY
“Don’t put words in my mouth!”
MEDIC
“Hmm, oh, what’s something exciting we can roleplay, let’s see, I know, how about a sorcerer eh?
MOP
“I’m gonna cry.”
MEDIC
“Hey everybody, look at the little sorcerer, with his little wand and his super powers, look at me, I’m going to make a portal to another world! Alla-kazoich!
MEDIC casts a spell on a wall and a portal from Portal appears. The three stare at it in bewilderment.
MEDIC
“Um… what just happened.”
SPY
“Oh come on, don’t play dumb. You were roleplaying a lumberjack and now you’re roleplaying a sorcerer—because your real life is sad and pathetic!”
MEDIC
“Hey!”
SPY
“And nice parlor trick, but you’ll never convince me that you can actually cast portals.”
MEDIC
“I’m not trying to.”
SPY
“See, its a silly fake portal conjured up by a silly, fake person.”
SPY steps into the portal and disappears. HEAVY and MEDIC stare at the portal. MEDIC turns to HEAVY.
MEDIC
“This is your fault you know.”
HEAVY
“What?!”
MEDIC
“You’re so meek and uninteresting that you let GUSTAV dominate all our conversations, which allows him to get all worked up and do stupid things like this. Just once I’d like to see you actually show a backbone.”
HEAVY pauses for a moment before striking MEDIC and tossing him into the portal. HEAVY looks at the portal in anger which subsides to fear.
HEAVY
“Oh no, he’s gone. And I really wanted that cake.”
He sighs.
“Well, the cake had better not be a lie”
HEAVY leaps into the portal. Camera switches to the other side of the portal, with MEDIC and SPY standing there with their mouths agape. HEAVY appears and then his mouth goes agape.
MEDIC
“It’s horrible!”
HEAVY
“What is it?”
SPY
“It’s the essence of pure evil!”
Camera pans out to reveal a crowded city in World of Warcraft.
Scene ends.
3 Comments
September 29, 2008 at 11:22 am
I wish I could help you guys :P. But I like how the medic contradicts himself. By saying how the spy is not having fun because the spy’s fun lacks “ references to popular culture and more funny, quick images!”. But the medic just said a little earlier “I’ve got a delicious cake all made up for you, with frosting and everything.” thus making a “references to popular culture”, portal FTW! Keep up the great work guys!
October 1, 2008 at 1:51 am
[...] nu släppt andra delen i sin Machinima-serie Dynamic Action Team. För er som är intresserade går manuset att läsa på Wegame:s [...]
October 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Truly, that thing in the last scene was the ultimate incarnation of evil. On the internet.
Also, I love the opening “of something something” joke. That’s good stuff.